“Trust in the Lord with ALL Your Heart; Do Not Depend on Your Own Understanding.”
~Proverbs 3:5, NLT
So often, I find myself challenging God and questioning His intentions. It’s a struggle for me to release myself to His complete control. I want to be able to say I am trusting him with my whole heart, but that would be a lie.
After finishing my third year of college this past May, I still wonder if engineering is what I should be studying. My grades were struggling, and I was very discouraged. After all, I don’t have a passion for engineering. Yes, my brain is wired for the math and sciences, but to spend the rest of my life in an office cubical is much less than appealing.
In a recent conversation with my dad, my dad said for himself engineering is not his passion, but rather being able to support a family. He said I could use my skills to do missions work in another country developing new technologies to improve the living conditions, or something else.
The last thing he said was to delight myself in the Lord, and He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). I try to do things my way to fulfill my happiness. I’m impatient and have a hard time trusting that God knows my desires.
I’ve begun making a true conscious effort to be delighted in the Lord. Slowly, I’m beginning to see small changes and new desires inside my heart and it’s amazing. I have finally found a church community near CSU at Faith E Free in Fort Collins. I have been asking God to show me His will for my life. Also, for peace in knowing that He knows what is best for me and will allow my life to be filled with joy and praise.
